


Dear...

by MissQueenOfAwesome



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:36:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissQueenOfAwesome/pseuds/MissQueenOfAwesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When there's a new president/prime minister/etc in a country, it's normal for a nation who's friends with said country to write a letter to the new leader. The letter explains who they are and the hell they'll experience through their term.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear...

Dear Ma'am,

Hello, I'm Lukas, better known as Norway. The blond man who is probably bugging you as you read this is literally Denmark. Yes, there is something they didn't tell you before you took office. Each nation with a government has a personification. You are Denmark's boss and babysitter. Yes, he is a full grown man but he's very iresponsible at that. He also drinks a lot, but he can do work while drunk (as long as he's not smashed). It's a skill that surprises us all. Really, all I'm going to do is just list some things you'll need to know to make it through your term.

  * You shouldn't let him drive, he's terrible at it
  * He's an amazing cyclist though.
  * If you ever want a night off, you can feel free to call me
  * Really the world is just one big reality show and it's hilarious if you take a step back and watch it all
  * My boss advises you do this often to keep your sanity
  * He can actually baby sit your kids, he's really good with kids and responsible when it comes to the little brats
  * He practically helped Scandinavia raise all of us
  * You should never put Denmark, who can also be called Mathias, alone in the same room with the personification of Sweden
  * Denmark tends to hang out with Prussia, Netherlands, England, and America (Denmark will show you pictures of everyone if you ask who they are)
  * He does rant about him being awesome, more so if he has been around America or Prussia recently
  * He's actually mentally unstable, like the personification of Spain and the personification of Russia
  * You could say he's a mix of their insanities
  * He's really happy, all the time
  * Unless you bring up the Kalmar Union or anything in history really
  * He gets angry and violent sometimes and goes on rampages
  * Call me, Netherlands, Greenland, Sweden, or America if this happens
  * Finland and him go drinking sometimes, don't question it
  * If you bring up how we all kind of left him, expect him to drink himself into a stupor
  * He can do work with a hangover too, just don't expect him to put on anything formal and be prepared to deal with grumpiness
  * No matter how late he goes to bed, he always wakes up at 4:30 am sharp
  * Expect to buy coffee a lot
  * There's money set aside to bail him out if that's ever needed
  * Never say yes to becoming one with Russia
  * All of the nordics including Iceland live in the same house
  * We're sort of like a big family really, a very dysfunctional family
  * I'm blood related to Iceland but no one else is related
  * If you see a man with big eyebrows and blond hair, that's England. If you see a guy with red eyes, a tiny hat, and brown hair, that's Romania
  * They'll sometimes stop by to check up on you before going to my place, be nice when they do
  * The three of us practice magic, please don't question it. Romania is a vampire, but he wont drink your blood. He may try to scare you, but he's just really childish
  * If you see a little boy with big eye brows and blond hair, that's Sealand. Seland and Denmark get along well, sometimes he babysits Sealand.
  * He loves Hans Christian Andersen, say anything bad about that man and Mathias will have your head
  * I'm not kidding, he's done it before
  * Mathias can pull a battle ax out of no where but he can't shoot a gun
  * Switzerland is trigger happy and a crack shot, but he wont shoot you unless you step on his property
  * Actually Switzerland is really nice and so is Germany
  * Germany visits frequently during the summer, they're on good terms
  * Finland is also a crack shot, don't get him mad
  * Finland may act a bit girly, but he's actually manly as fuck
  * Sweden may be scary but he's actually a big teddy bear



That's really all I can think of, have a good term. You can learn the rest by asking Mathias or just winging it. Everyone has a human name so you'll have to learn those too.

Best wishes,

Kongeriket Norge


End file.
